Vs
Celebs are better than us. It's a fact. Without a shadow of a doubt, the more famous you are, the more people who remember your name, the more times you appear in history books, docu-dramas and E!Hollywood Stories, the better you are as a human being. Now this is all very well and good when comparing famous people to the likes of Tom, Dick and Harold, if a celebrity has a dispute with a regular person, say for instance a student claims to have been raped by a Premier League football player, then we can say for a fact that the football player's version of the truth is the correct one.
The problem occurs when two stars of equal or similar value have a falling out. Big success spawns big egos, and when two titans of high-profile celebrity clash, it truly can be a clash fit for a clash of the titans. It is in these circumstances that we see, the most potentially destructive of beasts - The Celeb Feud.
Celeb Feuds can be started from seemingly nothing. A brief disagreement over a guitar solo can tear bands apart beneath the weight of musician's egos. A misplaced comment or roll of the eyes can send an actor spiralling into a deep-seated rage-depression. A false smile, a bad review, a glance in another direction, all of these have inspired long-running hatred in some of Hollywood's elite.
And today is no different. In the red corner we have the sultan of high-pitched, progressively unimpressive hair rock, Axl Rose! In the blue corner we have the pint-sized princess of Hollywood, Dakota Fanning! Celeb Feud commence!
Reports are vague, but the feud is said to have started at a Halloween party hosted by Christian Bale. Guests have reported that it all began with an off-the-cuff comment from Fanning, joking about the recent wave of criticism towards the Guns n' Roses front man for several late appearances on stage. Unfortunately it seems that Rose was in the vicinity and took offense, telling Fanning to come back when she had the best selling debut album of all time. Guests say that Dakota tried to pacify the dread-locked demigod numerous times, but was repeatedly antagonised by Rose. When she suggested that her own accomplishments, in particular being the youngest performer to receive a nomination for a Screen Actor's Guild Award at seven years old, were of note, Axl left the party.
It is said that Rose returned, intoxicated and possibly high on illegal drugs, and claimed that he was going to "Thief [her] accolade". Whilst most people presumed it was a heat of the moment comment, Guns n' Roses record label Geffen, have since released several press statements regarding the aging rockers intentions to become the youngest person nominated for a Screen Actor's Guild Award.
"I don't even want a SAGA," Rose claimed. "I don't even want that piece of shit award, I just want to be nominated for a SAGA ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-yeeeeeaaaah. People are talking shit about me all over and being the youngest person nominated for a SAGA will maybe show everyone that this guy isn't a push over no more sha-na-na-naaaaaw yeeeeeah yeeeeeah."
Dakota Fanning has denied requests to speak out against the rock star, but has said on her online Internet blog:
"Axl Rose is forty eight years old. He doesn't seem to understand why he can't take my place in that award. He seems to have only a basic grasp of the entire aging process. I mean, look at his dreadlocks."
When pushed to comment on whether or not the two were engaging in an official Celeb Feud, Dakota looked into the distance for a long time, grimaced, perhaps at an imaginary Axl Rose on the horizon, and said: "It's on!" We'll keep you posted.
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