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Friday, 5 November 2010

Fizz Bang

"Remember, remember the fifth of November! Gunpowder, sparklers and plot!" - Poem.

That's right, it's the fifth of November, which means that here in the UK we celebrate Guy Fawkes night. If you're an American, and the celebration is foreign to you, imagine Thanksgiving but everyone has to go to work, and there's no game on, and instead of a nice meal you eat a hot-dog that's been cooked on top of the engine of some guys car, then prepared on top of a public toilet cistern. If you love standing in the cold listening to the Star Wars theme tune crackling through a broken tannoy system, then Firework night could be for you!

We celebrate this ancient tradition to remember and pour shame upon the tragic figure of Guy Fawkes, a man who was so cross with the way in which the country was being handled, he attempted to explode the houses of parliament when all the parliamentalists were inside. It didn't work though, and Guy Fawkes was done in. We celebrate his monumental failure by setting off fireworks (think forth of July), playing movie themes over public address systems (think air shows) and burning fake people on huge fires (think the founding of your nation).

So, on this, the most Fawksiest of nights, what are the stars plans?

Daniel Day Lewis: "There will be fireworks!"

Cilla Black: "There's gonna be a lorra lorra fireworks!"

Billy Joel: "We didn't start the fire, our neighbours did! They have a bigger garden and use bonfire night as an excuse to burn all the old dry twigs that fall off their trees in the Autumn winds. Also our neighbour is an up town girl."

Me? I'm not doing much, just staying in and checking the fire-alarms are working, safe and happy in the quiet knowledge that the year before last, the fireworks upset Lazarus so much that he made stool all over the kitcehn floor of my neighbours house and she had to come and borrow an entire roll of kitchen roll from my house to clean it up. Well this time I will pretend not to be home for even longer!

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